Usually, young children can learn to lie from the age of about three.
This is when they start working around them like their elders. Because children have better learning abilities. But not knowing that lying is a bad thing, they can only give wrong information to people, or perhaps they have been found to lie to get out of trouble or to cover up.
Typically, children lie more between 4-6. They may be more adept at lying through their body language or good acting, but often get caught up in their own lies if pushed to explain further.
Studies show that when children reach school age they lie more often and can be more sure. Lies become more sophisticated, as their vocabulary grows and they understand better how other people think.
Thus children up to the age of eight can successfully lie without getting caught.
Why do children lie – Few Reasons
Children can lie for many reasons. It depends on the situation and their motivation. Let us throw light on the reasons for children’s lying:
When children want to cover their own mistakes. To avoid its consequences or punishment.
Sometimes lie to provoke the anger and reactions of their parents.
In order to exaggerate a story or influence others, they exaggerate the truth and lie.
Pay attention to get the elder to do something when they know that the listener knows the truth. To manipulate a situation or set something up with your innocence.
For example, the child tells his grandmother that the mother gives me toffee every day.
When do children lie -Tips for encouraging honesty
If you want to improve your child’s habit of lying, then be positive first, and emphasize the importance of honesty in your family. You can tell your child when he lies to you and appreciates him when he tells the truth.
For example, share your feelings with the child that when he does not tell the truth, you feel sad and disappointed. You can also take help from some books or stories that highlight the importance of honesty.
Generally, it is better to teach children the value of telling the truth than punishing them for minor misdeeds. Praise your child for honesty. Even though sometimes it may take you a while to get it.
Children like to make things. They exaggerate the stories to give them a little more flavor. In fact, pretending and imagining are important for your child’s development. It is good to encourage this type of sport.
Short stories, especially for children under four, should not be considered a lie.
1. Pretending and imagining is good
Once children are mature enough to understand the difference between truth and lies, it is good to encourage and support them, to tell the truth.
If your child is telling you something that is imaginary or not worth believing, then you can just go with it. Pretending and imagining is important for your child’s development.
For example, your child may tell you that he is a super-hero. You can ask him about his superpowers.
2. Protect your child from situations
Help protects your child from situations where he feels he needs to lie. For example, you can see that your child has drunk some milk. You can ask her. Have you spilled milk? ‘He can lie and say no because he thinks he is going to be in trouble.
To avoid this situation, you can just say that I think there has been an accident with milk. Instead of asking him directly.
3. Praise to boost his self-esteem
Exaggerated stories involving bragging. He may be a child seeking praise or respect from others. If this is happening frequently. So you can consider using more praise to boost your child’s self-esteem.
4. Acceptable and unacceptable behavior
Make sure you have clear rules about acceptable behavior in your home. If clear rules are applied then children are so understanding and more likely to behave within acceptable limits.
5. Praise him for being honest
When your child gets accustomed to doing something wrong, praise him for being honest. Say such things that I am really glad you told me the truth. I like it when you are honest. In fact, it is important that your child knows that you are upset if he engages in any wrongdoings.
6. When a child misleads you intentionally
If your child is intentionally misleading you, tell him that lying is not acceptable. Explain why this is not a good thing and you may not be able to trust him in the future. Then use the appropriate results to deal with the behavior that led to the lie. For example, if the child broke a flowerpot. So get her to help you clean it.
7. Explain the consequences of lying
If your child continues to lie intentionally and you want to reinforce the idea that lying is not acceptable using an appropriate discipline strategy. When explaining the consequences of lying to your child, it can help him get out of his habit.
8. Try to difference the lie and the behavior that led to it
First, let’s deal with how to lie. For example, use a time-out or a random number whenever you feel it is lying. Then let’s take a look at what is causing the behavior behind the lie.
If your child lies to get your attention, consider more positive methods. Which you can pay attention to him.
If he lies to get something. for example – consider a reward system that lets her earn special behavior. You may need to watch her self-transformation to help her avoid situations where she feels the need to lie.
9. Labeling him that he is a liar is wrong
Try to avoid telling your child that he is a liar. Labeling him in this way can negatively affect his self-esteem or he may lie even more due to this tag. If your child believes that he only makes mistakes, he may try to improve it. It is more helpful in labeling and talking about your child’s actions and behaviors.
10. Teach a lesson without any conflict
One way to discourage children from telling blatant lies is to make a joke or exaggerate a false statement.
For example – a young child might interpret a broken toy by saying that a man came in and broke a toy. On this, you can not say strictly but something silly why you did not invite him to dinner? In this way, you uncover lies and teach a lesson without the need for discipline or conflict.
11. Talk with him about how this affects your relationship
As children get older, lies can become a habit. By which it can become more defiant. If lying is becoming too much, make a set time to sit calmly with your child. Talk with him about how his lies make you feel. How does this affect your relationship with him, and how it can happen if family and friends stop trusting him.
12. Professionals can help you
Some children, especially those over seven, often lie in the form of large patterns of inappropriate behavior, such as stealing, burning fire, or hurting animals.
If your child is involved in this type of behavior, you can seek professional help from a school counselor or psychologist.
Telling lies is not always a joke
Children do not always have selfishness behind their lies. Sometimes children even lie to keep a secret or protect someone. For example – a child who has been abused and abused by an adult. Yet often lies to protect that adult.
Often the child is afraid that if he tells, he will be punished. The case may also be related to ragging or child abuse where children lie. If you suspect that your child is lying about a serious matter, what can you do –
Assure him/her a lot that she will be safe if she tells the truth.
Do your best to convince him that you can improve things.
In this case, you may have to seek professional help. A child specialist or school counselor can help you with this.
What is a white lie?
This white lie is not so bad. A research study found that children under three years old were able to lie white. This was especially the case when parents trained the child in advance.
For example, before giving a gift to your child, you should encourage him to know the truth of his mind whether he likes that gift or not. In this situation, some children will still tell the truth that no, I do not like it.
Even if they do not understand that it can hurt someone’s feelings. This is probably because children of this age and stage are more focused on moral development. this mindset encourages truth-telling behavior.
As children reach primary school age. They appear to be quite skilled at lying white. It has been observed that children routinely lie white to protect their friends’ feelings until adolescence.
White lie spoken by parents.
Yes, parents also tell their children white lies. Telling your child a white lie cannot be harmful. Some white lies can help protect a child’s innocence, promote creative development, and teach them important social skills for their future.
For example – you can tell your child that you have an angel who has magical powers that will heal your child when he or she hurts themselves.
Some parents like to play games such as finding fairies in the garden. Others pretend to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy.
Although they are harmless. White lies should be used sparingly. The difference between a white lie and a true lie – one designed to avoid punishment.
Conclusion
Always tell your child indirectly way when you know for sure that he is not telling the truth. Your child needs to know that honesty is important to you. But try to avoid asking him all the time if he is lying.
Be involved in your child’s life and encourage him to be truthful with you. Children of all ages who have good communication with their parents and talk with them about what they are doing are less likely to engage in antisocial behavior.
We often entice children to tell white lies to manage behavior. For example, you can say that I can’t buy you that lodge because I didn’t bring any money.
Such tactics can serve as one-offs, but can also back-fire if you walk out with a purse full of money. They can also cause arguments and a lack of trust.
It is more effective to manage children’s behavior in an honest and productive manner. Good behavior should be encouraged for more ideas.
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